i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
