life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
