I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
