Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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