He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
