Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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