38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
