I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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