yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
