Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We don't watch enough power rangers
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
