Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
