he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
