She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
