she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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