if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she smelled like a LAN party
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
