Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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