She's never allowed to turn 21 again
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
