is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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