i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
