How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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