He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
