Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
