I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
