you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
