This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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