Sponge bath it is.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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