maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
