I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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