Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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