My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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