You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
