i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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