Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
