I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she pinky promised me she was 18
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
