would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
