Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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