I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
