Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
