I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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