remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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