Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
