the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
