he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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