i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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