I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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