I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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