HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize