I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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