Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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