I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
