i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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