I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
