I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
